Repackaged computers

One of the things I wrote about last year was add-ons to make video game consoles into full computers. (link, the original piece is toward the bottom). What I failed to keep in mind was some old computers repackaged as video game consoles and could be made back into computers again.

The first console to do this was the Atari XEGS. It was released in 1987 by Atari Corporation and was based on the aging Atari 8-bit computer line. It was a failure due to a few reasons: Nintendo practically owned the console market and even a large library of legacy releases (and peripherals!) couldn't save them, Jack Tramiel's Atari Corporation had terrible marketing, and the fact it was sharing shelf space with the Atari 2600 (now a redesigned budget console called the Atari 2600jr) and the Atari 7800 (backwards compatible with the 2600 but less expensive than the XEGS). Needless to say, it flopped, and the three consoles were eventually discontinued for the Atari Jaguar, which did poorly as well.

Meanwhile, Tramiel's former company, Commodore, released a repackaged version of the Commodore 64 in Europe only (inexplicably, not the USA) called the "Commodore 64 Games System" in 1989-1990, which bombed due to the fact that it was just a stripped-down C64 that retailed for about the same price.

The Commodore Amiga CD32 was also released by Commodore only in Europe (an American version was planned but scuttled due to a federal law injunction), which was far more successful than the C64GS: it was essentially a repackaged Amiga computer released in 1993, and one of the very first 32-bit systems released. And despite the fact it could run Amiga software and hardware, it couldn't save Commodore, which went out of business soon after.

Possibly the most interesting one is the Pippin, Apple's attempt at a game console. The first mistake was making the technology and putting it up to different manufacturers to relabel it (which killed the CD-i and 3DO). So it wasn't Apple's fault directly for making it bad. The thing wasn't very good: it was marketed an Internet appliance but only had a 14.4k modem (which was pretty slow and low-end even for '95 standards) and wasn't as good as the "real" Macs or even the game consoles it competed against. Maybe it could've done better if it wasn't done by Bandai (pretty much the only manufacturer who signed on, a European one signed on later but made no games) and had one of the worst launch titles ever. As a result the Pippin was a complete failure, and one that Apple (and Namco Bandai) has tried to forget. Today, the "@World" (Bandai's name for it) is a rarity and an interesting collector's item that can run the Mac OS natively with a keyboard and mouse, but there's very little point to it.

I wish there was another manufacturer who tried the Pippin, it seemed like a horribly mangled good idea. I've expressed a desire that they could make a "plug-and-play" Pippin much like the Commodore 64, Sega Genesis, and Atari 2600 before it that could in theory be modified to a full system. Alas, it will never happen...

EDIT: No sooner had I written this that I discovered that there was a kid's computer released in 1997 by Tiger Electronics called the Tiger Learning Computer based on the Apple IIe and had real Apple IIe programs (like AppleWorks 4.0 for the Apple II) but there wasn't any floppy drive...they replaced it with a proprietary cartridge port. And thanks to the quirky and outdated behavior of the included programs (you could select you wanted to make a spreadsheet in AppleWorks, but it would prompt you to insert the disk, which of course, you couldn't). Reportedly it never made it out of test marketing in certain cities. However, it's not really listed here because it wasn't advertised as a game console, it was a kid's computer.

Computer dreams and E3 things

Well, I couldn't have been more wrong in my E3 predictions. Nearly everything was incorrect. No Apple, no Zynga (well, Apple had its own event, which I won't cover, and Zynga, who cares). My prediction about Sony was wrong: the device was the Vita, but they didn't announce the price. Super Mario 3DS still didn't get an official name, I didn't see as many Nintendo 3DS games as I expected (Star Fox 64 3D and Luigi's Mansion 2), and I didn't even hear too much of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D's new features.

I can't tell if Wii U is a show-stealing console or an incredible disappointment. I wasn't impressed. Some staffers at Kotaku even have similar thoughts.

Microsoft did not announce any new Xbox 360 media stuff, but lots of Kinect games (well, I was right about that). But non-gimmicky is the key. From a port of Minecraft (what, you stick your arms out?) to Kinect: Disneyland Adventures, everything is Kinect. And Kinect mostly relies on, that's right, gimmicks.

Rockstar showed off nothing. Max Payne 3 is looking to be the new Duke Nukem Forever. EWJ4 and Doom 4 failed to make appearances. And no Steam on the consoles...of course. After all, Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony have their own systems, and wouldn't want anyone else infringing on it (even if did bring PC ports to the systems, although people like use of their WASD and mouse. Usually attempts like this fail.)

OK, OK, I haven't been in very often, but here's something new: the HTPC guide. See, I photocopied this in 2006 (I think, but I know it was many months after the Feb/05 publication date) as part of the planning process for "Project Citrus", a mid-range computer infused with a mix of old and new technology. The plan was, of course, horribly flawed, I chose to get the motherboard of the last G4 that could run Mac OS 9 and get the most powerful OrangePC card, and choose to soup it up with neon lights that were popular in PCs at the time. Whatever my decisions were, it was going to be many times more powerful than my ThinkPad I had...a monochrome monitor brick that ran Windows 95 (or less?) and only used AC power. Transferring things to and fro it was complicated (from floppy drive to Performa 550, where it was transferred to Zip disk, then the Zip disk to a computer with Internet and printed). I think I still have the disks and the computer.

Anyway, the scan is from an HTPC how-to guide from Popular Science (which frankly, I still think is kind of cool, but to get "media" onto your computer, such as the one I have now, you have to spend lots of time and money or go torrenting, neither of which I like very much, and besides, it takes up a significant chunk of hard disk space).

But rather than scan the photocopy (I think it was printed with inkjet, even), here's the original. I'd suggest, if you want to print it out, print out in black and white. Unless you have an amazingly cool laser printer that prints color perfectly, but I doubt that. (I had to scan this three times to get it out right...)

An open letter to Nintendo

Dear Nintendo:

Thank you for your many years of service and being a great console company. Although I don't quite remember when you hit America with the Nintendo Entertainment System, but it was a great piece of work and a true savior to the American video game industry created and destroyed by Atari. The game Super Mario Bros. is one of the true classics of an entire industry and beloved to all. You brought joy and happiness to homes nearly every Christmas.

Even when you could not own the market exclusively with the NES, you continued to hold with the Super NES against the Genesis. Even though it could not play NES games, it more than made up for it in a vastly improved control scheme and dozens of fantastic games. I'm still playing Chrono Trigger, one of the great games by "Squaresoft". You were knocked down a few notches when the PlayStation came to power, but Super Mario 64 proved to the world that 3D video games could be done. It was also ground-breaking. Two years later, you came out with The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: almost universally proclaimed to be the best game ever. You came out with Pokémon, which brought great joy to me as a child.

The GameCube was not your finest hour, and by 2005, many were proclaiming the premature death of Nintendo consoles, having seen the great fall of Dreamcast a few years before.

But you persevered. You introduced the Wii.

Many mocked the name and the inferior graphics, but you were able to make into a smash hit: the innovative Wii Sports pack-in game, an approachable controller, and a reasonable price (compared to the 599 DOLLARS PlayStation 3) made it sell well. But things began to work against you: the Wii sales started to slow, software sales slumped, and your competitors were improving on your ideas. So you tried again: the "Wii U".

It was not exactly the same experience over again. The graphics were much better this time around, and the name was even goofier than its predecessors, but the Wii U is building on experience where it has none. The Wii's gimmick with its Miis is over, and rather than create a future embracing name, you chose to name it after a dying system.

Wii U has none of the things that made the Wii a runaway success: no low price point, and no truly approachable controller. Sure it looks neat, but it's unwieldy. You wanted to create a controller that could attract both casual and hardcore gamers. You will probably fail.

I could be wrong, but I have serious doubts for your future.

I have considered myself a fanboy since before I could pronounce your name correctly, but toward the end of the Wii's lifespan, that began to slip and fall. I have little confidence in your product, something I had never said before.

I did not see a single worthy game at E3 about the Wii U, something I have not seen ever at E3. The Wii had many exciting games, including Wii Sports, Rayman Raving Rabbids, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Wii Music, Super Mario Galaxy, Project H.A.M.M.E.R, Red Steel and more. Even if they were cancelled or weren't what I expected, they were exciting enough for me to give it a second thought.

Even if Wii U is a moderate success, I will not purchase one myself. Despite that fact, I will always treasure the good times we had together.

Signed,

Pseudo3D

E3 Predictions

Well, it's Friday, and I have summer school (college classes, actually) next week during E3. Won't stop me from making predictions tonight though!

- Apple will have a significant presence and make a major announcement as an inroads toward Apple-based gaming. A full console may or may not be released. If it is, expect industry pundits to mention the Apple Bandai Pippin.
- Nintendo will show off the new Super Mario 3DS title, and the 25th Anniversary Zelda surprise. Project Café will be shown off and named. It will turn out to be the show-stealing console or an incredible disappointment. Nintendo 3DS will have a bunch of new games, in an attempt to garner support.
- Sony will name the price for the NGP. It will be too high. They will at least announce the name, but it won't be "Vita".
- Microsoft will announce many new Kinect games, and some of them won't be complete gimmick games. To attract to the non Kinect-ers, Xbox 360 will make inroads to become more of an Internet TV appliance (that is, more than already).
- Rockstar will show off a new GTA title, but not GTA V.
- Electronic Arts will find a way to exploit SimCity further. No SimCity 5, but a rather cartoonish SimCity based in Facebook.
- Zynga will show up as well, showing off a new product, ending in "Ville". It will impress no one but go on to be a success anyway.
- Take-Two Interactive will have Max Payne 3 present.
- id Software will show off Doom 4.
- Interplay will make a surprise showing with Earthworm Jim 4.
- Valve will announce more Steam stuff for the PS3. Xbox 360 maybe. Café maybe not.


By next Friday, we'll see if I'm right.